Anxiety

Dec. 16, 2012

Anxiety

It starts all too subtly,
     A small hitch-hitch in my breath,
And suddenly it's there,
The ancient ghoul,
     Clinging invisibly 'cross my chest,
          Digging,
          Digging,
          Digging fingers deep into my lungs,
               Forcing their air into retreat.
The back tenses.
Words stu-stutter,
Loose on my tight lips.
Jaw snaps shut.
I,
     Can't breathe,
          Just,
               Choked gasps.
Can't you tell on sight?
The beast's on me always,
     Riding me like a steed,
          Even needling me now
               Over that last erotic line.

What he doesn't know?
I'm onto him!
I know he bares his claws
     At Change,
          At Lady Fortune.
He has a fear of Success,
     Of Happiness.
See,
     He seizes me
          'Cuz he's afraid.
So I pat his head
     And carry him along,
          All the while he's screaming,
'Til at last
     The worst is over,
The new beginning through.
At that he hops down off my back,
     Returning only when he needs to hold my hand.